Little Boy Blue - as well as Black, Itchy, Swollen & Bloody

Garrett Lee Allen is aging his parents way before their time. Since one of my main purposes of this blog was to document life with the kids, I guess I have to include the bad with the good. And boy does this kid know how to find the bad. Since birth, Garret has managed to do the following:

• At age 6 months, he took a flying leap out of the bouncy seat onto the hard kitchen floor, requiring a trip to the ER and a very expensive CAT scan. We probably won't know the long term effects until he reaches 3rd grade and turns out to be the one member of our family who ISN'T math impaired. One can only hope.
  


• Next he developed some strange rash that covered his entire body that no doctor could identify. It lasted for 2 months and make the kid look like he had leprosy. It's my personal opinion that it came from a nekkid romp through the cotton fields shortly after they had sprayed it with what is bound to be some contraband pesticide. That stuff is POTENT. The rash finally cleared up, but needless to say, we didn't go to church for a bunch of Sundays because who wants their kid in Sunday school with someone who looks like this?
  

• Doesn't that just make you wanna scratch?? Go ahead. I'll give you a minute.
  

• And on we go to the chemical incident. He crept up behind me and sprayed his mouth full of Lysol Scrubbing Bubbles bathroom cleaner while I was bent over scrubbing the tub. This involved lots of parental screaming and panicking and required a lengthy conversation with Poison Control. They gave several reprimands about how I should better watch my children, store cleaners on high shelves, blah blah blah. Yeah yeah. They don't understand this kid's proclivity to getting into mischief. He could be alone in a rubber room and find a way to get a concussion and massive internal injuries.
  


• He got bit by our dog. Lord have mercy. Boomer RIP - May 2009. Enough said.
  


• The picture below is proof of what can happen when he's simply quietly playing with his brother in D's room. I heard no screams, no loud bumps, no indication that anything was amiss until Davis came out and said that Garrett was "bweeding". It appeared that Garrett had managed to strike his head on the corner of the wooden ring toss game they were playing with. The actual cut itself wasn't even a quarter of an eighth of an inch long, but this kid was "bweeding" like a stuck pig. The picture makes it look 100 times worse than it was. To his credit, he didn't shed a tear until he saw himself in the mirror when I sat him on the sink to clean him up. Then all heck broke loose. He was traumatized and I think the flashbacks of the dog bite brought back tons of painful memories. It took forever to calm him down, but he survived. And don't pass judgement on me making a picture of my bloody kid instead of cleaning him up. He wasn't that bad off. Besides, I need all the proof I can get so I can guilt him into things during the teen years by saying how he used to scare me half to death when he was a child.
  

• Then there was the medication mix up. The doctor said to give him a dose of Benedryl at night for his allergies. I prepare his medicine 95% of the time. Bennett only does it if I'm not there. Well this was a particularly hectic night and we were all scrambling at bedtime. I gave G his nightly dose and not 5 minutes later, I see Bennett tilting a medicine cup into G's mouth. He had just given G his SECOND full dose of Benedryl. So instead of 1 1/2 teaspoons, he got THREE. This resulted in another parental freak out and a second call to poison control. They assured us that he would be fine, just very very sleepy. We were to check on him every 30 minutes for the next 3 hours until the doses wore off. I'm sure that Poison Control is just waiting to report us to Child Protective Services if we ever call again.
  


• He was stung by a wasp on his finger and you would have thought that the world was coming to an end. He held it up for the remainder of the day and put on his best pity party for the occasion. Pa Pa gladly obliged his little pity party and babied him quiet nicely. Pa Pa's, Grannies and Nana's are the best boo boo healing teams available.
  


• Another recent exploit was when G decided to get heads down serious about riding his tricycle. He was peddling Flinstone's style so hard, he didn't notice that he'd rolled clear out into the road. We know this because my brother-in-law Tommy happened to be driving by at that exact moment and stopped to scoot him back to the house. Bennett hadn't had his eyes off of him but only a minute. That quick, the squirt made a break for it. Needless to say, we had a serious coming-to-Jesus meeting about that and he's not done it since. I bet he still remembers that whoopin'. Disclaimer: yes, we spank our kids. Don't judge us. Growing up, I got the rubber side of a dearfoam bedroom shoe almost daily and I turned out semi-normal - at least as far as anyone knows.
  


• He contracted some weird fever virus that would come and go for a period of about 2 weeks. He'd be fine all day and then as the sun would start to go down, he'd get a high fever. We'd give him some meds and he'd perk up and be good as new. The nice bonus was that this would often give him an upset stomach and this is a child that likes to barf at the drop of a hat. I'm still trying to get the smell of his last puke episode out of my love seat. Can you buy stock in Febreze?

I'm sure there is more, but I've probably blocked it out of my head. This poor little guy has taken a serious beating in his 3 little years, but he's a tough guy already. It's so true that prayer really works because I know I've had to do prayer overtime when it comes to this kid. He must have one heck of a guardian angel. That's good because Da and I need all of the help we can get. It's more than a 2 -man operation! Don't worry....I'm sure this post will require lots of future updates. I'll keep you posted. Until then, I'm off to stock up on the bandaids and Neosporin.

Preschool Mischief = Senior Moments

This happened earlier in the spring, but I think it warrants a blog entry because the boys will surely look back on day and have a good laugh.

It was my parent's week to keep the kids on Monday - Wednesday while we were at work. As usual, Daddy got to the house around 7:45 AM to pick them up to go to his house. We went through the breakfast routine and headed out the door to load up and start the day. G was going with Pa Pa and I was taking Davis to school. While Daddy was loading Garrett into his car on the driver's side, I had to put my things down in the van and buckle up Davis. Daddy was backing up as I turned around. Imagine my surprise when I see 2 hanging baskets with bright fuchsia flowers dangling from the passenger side doors of his car. I got his attention by banging on the window. It took all I could manage not to laugh hysterically as I asked him why he was driving around with hanging baskets on his door handles. "What are you talking about? What baskets?". He had no clue they were there. The kids had been at his house the day before and Davis hung them on the handles and Daddy never noticed it when he went out that morning. Even funnier, he'd been driving around town and blowing down I-95 earlier that morning on his daily trek to Bojangles to meet with the ROMEO Club (Retired Old Men Eating Out). You could see the look of worry on his face that his buddies at Bo's had seen him pulling out of the parking lot with those baskets blowing in the breeze. I tell you...it was so funny, I nearly peed in my pants.

Just so you can fully appreciate what I'm talking about, the boys very considerately offered this photographic re-enactment of the hanging basket crime in question. Picture this passing you by at 75 MPH on the interstate:

Preschooler mischief mixed with a Senior Citizen's decreased lack of awareness can lead to some pretty funny stuff. Bless their little hearts!

AHHHOOOOGGGAAA!

For those uneducated as to the recreational activities available to those living in the country in a small town, let me enlighten you. There is no mall. No Target, although we do have a Walmart if you can get out of the parking lot without getting mugged or side-swiped by a redneck-mobile. There is no movie theater. The nearest parks were mostly designed for sports, not recreation, so you can expect to wait in line to get to the swings or the slides. So what in the world are two little boys to do with their free summer evenings? Where's all of the action? It's all here baby. Country life is grand I tell you. Just look and see.

My babes have their own "vertible", thanks to Pa Pa. Yes, he serves as their personal chauffeur in this classic 1977 Triumph convertible. At any given time, you'll see the three of them tooling around the farm, wind in their hair and bugs in their teeth. But this isn't even their favorite vertible. See Pa Pa has more than one. Take a look at this beauty - the AHHHOOOOGGAAAA Vertible:

Yes, this is the AHOOOOOGGGGAAAAHHH vertible - named by the boys for the distinctive sound the horn makes. My weird little children love riding around in this old heap. Never mind that it is an actual hazard to anyone stupid enough to put their hands near the engine. Never mind that after riding in it for only 2 minutes, you smell like a gas pump. Never mind that there is no seat other than the driver's seat and the doors are held shut by zip ties. To D & G, this is riding in high style.

Yes, we are going to look back one day and realize that these are going to be the good ol' days. Life is just sweeter here in the country. I have so much more appreciation of this place than when I grew up here. I'm so thrilled that I'm able to share that with my boys. They have plenty of room to explore, run, grow and experience all of the great things about country life. There are cows, chickens, rabbits and kitty cats galore. When they get a little bigger, I can only imagine the hours they'll spend fishing at the pond down the path. They can ride their bikes and run through the fields. They get to see all kinds of farm equipment working in the fields pretty much on a daily basis. They know the joy, work and rewards that come with having your own garden. It's little boy heaven out here and I hope that they appreciate it way earlier than I did. I'm so thankful and blessed that God always makes a way for you to come back home if you're willing. I wouldn't have it any other way.