Mommy Guilt X2

The weekend is coming to a close and I was fortunate enough to spend it at the beach. Alone. No husband. No kids. No family or friends whatsoever. Just me, myself and I. I got there Friday night around 7:30 and I had absolutely no schedule. My Saturday included a trip to the CVS for sunscreen, nail polish and a copy of People and Star magazine. I spent 2 hours on the deck reading trashy tabloids and a new novel. I gave myself a pedicure. I took a shower and colored my ever-graying hair. I had a leisurely lunch followed by a nap. I watched some DVDs, ate a light supper and watched some movies. A full day all to myself. It was a dream come true for any working Mama.

All the Mamas out there know what I'm talking about. You work and take care of everyone but yourself. You spend your days devoted to others and crash at the end of the day with nothing left to give anyone. Day in and day out, you live the grind: work, home, family, kids, chores, bills, meals, shopping, school, games, etc. It's all responsibility all the time. When you find yourself scouting high locations with anticipation of taking some people out from a high tower, you need to find some time for yourself. I reached that point this week. I needed some serious decompression time. Luckily, B was willing to take on the children for the weekend. Remarkably, they were all in one piece when I returned home this afternoon. Don't feel too bad for him. It will be his turn next weekend. He's doing a golf weekend with the fellas. Maybe that's why he felt obliged to let me get out of dodge this weekend….he knows it will be his turn soon enough.

Anyway, it was a little slice of heaven. So why in the world have I felt guilty the entire weekend? Maybe it's because this is what I left behind.

There they are sitting on the steps right before I left. Dirt, snot, and sweat all included. As much as I needed some time just for me, it makes me so sad and guilty to leave them behind. I miss them. I miss all the craziness that goes with them. As much as they can drive me totally insane, I feel like I'm going to miss something special when I'm away from them. They will never be as small, cute and loving as they are right now. Right now, the spontaneous I love yous and hugs are free flowing. They still run to me for comfort when they have a boo. They still want me to sit with them and watch the same Max and Ruby or Backyardigans over and over and over. They want me to tuck them in at night and read story after story. They want me to push them on the swings. They want me to share a snack. I know these days are limited and it won't be long before they will be embarrassed to even have a Mama. Soon after, their attention will turn to other girls and these sweet, special days will just all be memories. Pardon me while I cry my eyes out. Sniff Sniff.

So I'm back home and reunited with my babies.Hopefully I feel refreshed and restored and ready to get back into the day to day groove. I just need to keep reminding myself that it's ok to take a little time to rid myself of the bitchies if it makes me a better wife and Mama in the long run. I'm sure all of my boys at home will appreciate it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Just Me and G

Well, Memorial Day has come and gone and Summer is officially underway. Bring on the gnats, mosquitoes and humidity - we can hardly wait! Davis and Bennett spent their Memorial day weekend at the beach and unfortunately, I have no pictures as evidence of what happened on their big "guy weekend". I did hear stories though about sandy crotches, junk food, a restaurant fight, late nights, wild neighborhood parties and even someone falling out of the bed and hitting the floor. Good times. Good times.

So that left just me and G-man to hold down the fort. We spent a great weekend together. I think he really likes having one-on-one Mommy time because he's never had it. D has been around to torment him since day 1. We did what everyone does in a small podunk town on a holiday weekend - we went to Walmart (or Walmark as G likes to call it). In fact, it was so much fun, we went twice because we just couldn't get enough of the place. It's a good lesson in self esteem to go to your local RURAL Walmart. When is say Rural, I'm not talking Garner. I'm talking about a Walmart in a town where it is front page news when the car wash gets a new blow dryer. Regardless, G loves him some Walmart. Lowes too, which is where we went the next day. You would have thought I'd carried him to Disney. Silly kid.

Speaking of silly, the little criminal has taken to a new bedtime habit. See the evidence below. Can you guess what it is?

Little Criminal has taken to wearing his winter cowboy pajamas and toboggan when he goes to bed. This is in addition to requiring that nearly half of his toy collection be in his bed before he goes to sleep. See for yourself.

I'll spare you what happens if something goes missing or if Davis happens to want to "share" something that goes on the bed. It's not a pretty picture. :)

Mother's Day Brunch

I'm a little behind in posting about this, but that's just par for the course. I've been swamped with the usual madness these last few weeks. I couldn't let anymore time pass though without mentioning the great brunch that was held for all the Mom's at Davis' preschool. His teachers, Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Ennis prepared a lovely meal for all 12 of us. No small feat considering they had to do it surrounded by 10 little boys and 2 little girls - all running around like crazy and begging for food and drinks. Those 2 poor little girls are so outnumbered in this class, but they manage to hold their own. They are tough little chicks. Here is a pic of me and Davis at the big event. I treasure these moments together with him because I know they will go by way too quickly. They just don't stay little long enough, do they?

My Little Snagglepuss!

Well, we hit another milestone this week. Davis, my cutest oldest little boy, lost his first tooth yesterday. We discovered it was loose this past Sunday. He informed me of this fact when I served him his lunch. He told me that I would have to cut up his PB&J sandwich because his tooth was broken. He gave me a peek and sure enough, one of his front little lower teeth was all caddywhompus (definition hyperlinked for readers who are southern impaired). The brave little guy finally worked it out yesterday and presented it to his Nana. We're all proud of our little Snagglepuss. The best part is that the tooth fairy came last night and delivered the expected $$.

So without further ado, check out the new grin. It's a dazed look of pride and euphoria:

When he's old enough to realize his Mama is posting his goofy grin all over the internet, he's gonna hurt me. I'm gonna risk it though because it's a Mama's prerogative to embarrass her children as often as possible. It's payback for all of the snot and poop.

Who I Is...

So let's get back to basics and go over a little history. I've been writing about various things as they've come up, but I've yet to give a little history about myself and the family. So here goes. I was born a poor black child. No wait…that was Steve Martin in The Jerk. I was born a middle class white girl to Jerry and Margaret way back in November, 1971. I was the "oops" baby. I came 15 years after sister Marsha and 11 years after brother Brian. Girls take note: 99.9% birth control effectiveness means NOTHING if God has other plans for your uterus - just ask my Mama.

I had a great childhood. I spent the 70's taking dance lessons, playing Barbies with cousin Alissa, wearing bell bottoms and halter tops and spending long hours at the Chicora pool. Aside from Mama cutting my hair super short in a failed attempt to get the Dorothy Hamill look, this was a great decade. The 80's were even better: big permed hair, braces, Jordache jeans, parachute pants, high school antics, boyfriends and hanging out in woods with friends listening to the best of 80's music. As long as Mama and Daddy were in charge, life was free and easy! I decided to take over in my late teens and that's when things got a little more complicated. I'll spare you the details and fast forward through the college woes, husband #1, numerous relocations, weirdo boyfriends and various career changes. I'm saving those sordid details for The Enquirer. Unlike this blog, they pay $$ for sordid stories. Besides, my parents read this blog and I don't want to get grounded or lose my allowance.

So let's move on to the good stuff which started in my late 20's. I got re-married in April 1999. I married a guy who couldn't be natured any more like my Daddy than if he had spit him out. His name is Bennett. He's the epitome of dignity and cool sophistication. Just look at his picture. Am I right or am I right?



Sorry girls...he's all mine. Seriously, he's all business when it comes to taking care of our family. He works very hard and I never have to get on him to do anything around the house or the yard…he's on it. He's not that into romance, but after 10 years, someone to take out the trash, change your oil and cook on the grill for you has far greater appeal. So I'm trying to let that mushy stuff slide. I'm a low maintenance woman like that. He's also a big kid at heart, which makes him a great Dad. The boys love him to pieces. Finally, he's also a man that loves the UNC Tarheels as much as he loves the Lord. Can we get an AMEN?




But enough about him. We procreated way back in 2004 and had our first son - Davis. He's 5 now and getting ready to start kindergarten in the fall. Our second little man, Garrett (aka Little Pig) came along in 2006 and he'll be going to preschool. If someone had told me 12 years ago I'd be remarried and have two kids, much less two little boys, I would have told them they were insane. I didn't see another husband or kids in my future, but voila…here I am. A wife and mini-van Mama of two lovable little terrorists.

It's been a great journey. It's not all been easy…far from it. There are days that I wanna crawl in a hole and hide. Overall though, God has been more than gracious to me and my family. I'm thankful for every minute of it. The tears and bumps in the road have all paid off and I know I'm a lucky gal.

I Hate It Had To Come To This....

Yesterday was the last day of Boomer's quarantine at Animal Control. They called and talked to B and he made the difficult decision to have him put down. I know it was an agonizing decision for him to make and frankly, I'm surprised he was able to do it. Boomer has been "his dog" for 10 years. During that time, he was a faithful and loyal companion. If only his mind hadn't deteriorated and if he hadn't started biting, we'd have kept him forever. B just realized that he wasn't going to improve, but only get worse. We couldn't afford to risk it with the boys running around. I'm so proud of B for making the right call on this for our family. It hasn't gone unnoticed.

That's the sad thing about animals. It's just one other thing we have to eventually let go of. We adopt pets, bring them into our lives, love them and they love us back unconditionally. It's so sad when it has to end. But at least Boomer got to go out gently with some dignity. So long old friend. We'll miss you.

Birthday of a Wise Man

Today is a special day - It's my Daddy's birthday! In celebration of this grand occasion, I decided that it would be a fitting tribute to think back over all of the wonderful lessons he's taught and shared through the years. You don't get to be 76 and not know a few things. Feel free to take notes.

1. First and foremost, you can always trust a good Daddy's advice. He'll never steer you wrong.
2. After God, family ALWAYS comes next - no matter what.
3. Do whatever you have to do to keep peace in the family. That includes ignoring them when they act stupid and overlooking a certain amount of foolishness. It also means putting them in their place when they need it.
4. Be humble and don't be big-minded.
5. Don't ever get too full of yourself to take advice from someone who is older, wiser and has already walked a mile in life's shoes. There will always be people around you that know more than you do. They can save you time and trouble if you'll just ask for help.
6. Place great value on education…it's very important. Just don't get so smart that you forget about #4 & #5.
7. Don't be haughty. I heard this a gazillion times during my teen years. Nuff said.
8. Do good things for others voluntarily and without complaint.
9. A good day begins early and ends late.
10. Children are a gift from God. Grandchildren are even better and more enjoyable. I may have cost my Daddy a brand new Buick for my Mama when I was born, but his payoff came later when I had my kids. He got a significant return on investment!
11. ATTITUDE is everything. HOW you say something is sometimes more important than WHAT you say.
12. Never underestimate the importance of good credit.
13. Good credit doesn't mean the freedom to spend more than you earn (quick…someone tell Obama before it's too late).
14. Never lend money to relatives when they spend more than they earn or when they run their credit into the toilet.
15. Avoid the expression "let me pick your brain". It just sounds bad. The same goes for saying that anything "sucks". In fact, just eliminate anything that relates to body parts or functions from your vocabulary.
16. Along those lines, if you must speak of bodily functions, fluids, insects, or disgusting odors, don't do it in his presence.
17. You have to spend money to make money. Just don't forget lessons 12-14.
18. You wouldn't think so on the surface, but there are many things to be enjoyed at a little place called Denton. There's something for everyone's inner redneck - young and old alike.
19. Don't let on to people that you really like cats and dogs. Just wait until no one is around and then sweet talk'em like a little baby and let them sit in your lap. Whenever someone comes within earshot, Ditch'em and complain about them so they won't know your secret.
20. If you tell someone you will do something, do it. No excuses. Even if it puts you out.
21. The secret to 56 years of marriage: separate tv's and living rooms.
22. If you can't boil water or turn on the washing machine, at least marry a good cook and someone to wash your shorts. If you follow the advice in #21, you'll have this covered for many years.
23. He might be a guy, but Daddy always said it was important to wear good shoes. That's permission to spend $$$ on shoes that every girl dreams about.
24. History is VERY important. Not just world or US history, but family history as well. Know where you came from and have respect for the sacrifices earlier family generations made to get you where you are today. Spread the word about them to the young ones. Without them, we'd all be toast.
25. Be proud of where you came from. Be nostalgic about your home place and preserve it. Cherish the good memories you made there and ignore the bad. Teach this philosophy to your kids.
26. Life doesn't get much better than a shade tree, a cool breeze, some homemade peach ice cream and being surrounded by family.
27. The only thing that IS better than #26 is getting big hugs from little boys that call you Pa Pa and tell you they love you and think you are a hero when you fix their golf cart tire.
28. One man's junk is another man's "collectible".
29. Hanging baskets with bright hot pink flowers make colorful and creative car door ornaments.
30. Finally, when life doesn't turn out like you planned and spouses and friends come and go, you've always got Mama and Daddy and you can always go home.

On Mother's Day, I said the Mamas are the glue that have held our family together. If that's the case, then Daddy has always been our rock. Thanks for all the advice, lessons learned and the cash. For putting up with me during my teens and 20's, I promise I'll keep you out of the nursing home - no matter what Mama and Sis have to say.

Love and Happy Birthday,
From Your Favorite Youngest Daughter

Mother's Day Musings

Well another Mother's Day has nearly come and gone. I love celebrating the Mothers in my life. I've been blessed with a great Mama, an excellent Jr. Mama/Sister and a pretty cool Mother-in-law. They've been the glue that have held our families together these many years. As most Mothers do,they possess and share wisdom that is beyond priceless. I'm always thankful when another year rolls around and we're all here together for another celebration of all the best that comes with Motherhood.

So what about Mother's Day at my house? Well, let's see. As of today, I've had 5 of them and they all start out in chaos. Maybe it's because it's Sunday and we never seem to have our ducks in a row in Sundays. Someone usually wakes up screaming, which leads to someone yelling, which leads to someone crying (usually me). When Hallmark started pimping all of those commercials that show Mom (looking like a model in a magazine) being served a 4 course breakfast in bed by her two equally gorgeous and impeccably dressed children, they certainly didn't get the idea from our house. This morning's greeting was D's yells about absolutely having to have his magic markers, or he would just die. Not to be outdone, G brought down the wrath of Bennett by having a blow out diaper that required a full bath before 9 in the morning. Add to this the task of getting everyone showered, dressed and ready for church and it is a freaking zoo. I vote to move Mother's Day to the day of Mama's choosing. Let's try a day when everyone is in a good mood. No meltdowns. No poop pants. No yelling, screaming or crying. I figure that if I follow that model, I'll have another Mother's Day celebration when I'm 80 and by then, I will be the one pooping in my pants.

Anyhow, Mother's day is the day that we should show appreciation for our Mothers. I think of it equally as a day that I'm thankful for my kids. Even with all of the chaos, tears, smells, yells, rants, raves and general craziness, it's all worth it. When they've been so evil during the day, to see them so sweet and angelic as they sleep at night makes it all worth while. It's why we get up each day and do it all over again.

So to all the Mama's out there, thanks for all you do and all you've done. It is greatly appreciated. Not just on this day, but everyday.

It Happens

The picture above is Garrett. My beloved second child. What started as a typical afternoon, got strange....and very stinky. As anyone who knows him will tell you, Garrett is a pig. Not in the swine sense, but in the LOOKs like he likes to roll in the mud sense. The child came out dirty and he's stayed that way since birth. He has a typical 5 minutes each day when he's clean. That's when he first gets out of the tub and the first 2 minutes after his feet hit the floor in the morning. So I'm never surprised when he comes in the house caked in lawn mower grease, red mulch dye or with a loaded diaper that he likes to call stinkum pants.

That's exactly what I expected when he came in this afternoon and said "Mommy, I's got stinkum on my hands". Sure enough, each little hand and finger was covered in doo and it had a smell that could make paint peel. Jumping up fast as lightning, I raced him to the tub, stripped him and in the process, got the stinky all over my own self. The smell was worse than any butt I'd smelled in the nursing home, for Pete's sake. I got the diaper ripped open and SURPRISE - NO POOP. Confused, I asked the little criminal where the poop came from. That's when I heard what I didn't want to hear....

"Mommy, it's Boomer's poop." Even with the dang dog 20 minutes away in another town, Cujo Junior is STILL giving me grief. Lord, give me strength.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

It's Davis' second spring/summer playing ball. This year's team is Woodmen of the World. It's coach-pitch ball instead of T-ball and he's doing pretty well. It can be painful though waiting for those little kiddies to hit the ball. Here's to a great season!

When Good Dogs Go Bad

This is Boomer. He's been our dog since 1999, shortly after Bennett and I got married. I really should say he's more Bennett's dog than mine. Truth is, I'm a cat person. To me, dogs smell. Even worse, they drop big piles of poo all over the yard. This poor soul is even higher maintenance than most dogs. He has lupus and has to take 2-3 pills three times per day. That's a lotta work and expense. Even so, he's been a good dog. Loyal, dependable and good tempered. That is until he got a taste for potty water.

We had a septic leak in our yard this past fall and winter. There was a small free flowing stream of potty water running away from our yard. Boomer decided that this was the best thing since dog biscuits. Long story short, I think it loosened a few screws. He started pacing. Barking at things that weren't there. Running in circles and growling at folks. The icing on the cake as when he bit my youngest on the head this past Saturday. Garrett was trying to give him a hug and the nutbag dog hauled around and bit him on the scalp. I've never seen so much blood. The more G screamed, the more it bled. I finally had to strip him in the tub and hold a cold cloth to his head to get it to stop. The poor kid was traumatized and I don't blame him.

Fast forward a few hours and Boomer is enjoying his new digs at chez Harnett County Animal Control. Poor dog. He's just not the dog he used to be. Between the lupus and the potty water, he's officially gone off the deep end. It's probably better to go that way than to take the bullet he'd be getting for biting one of my kids again.

The Inaugural Rant and Rave

So this is the my first attempt at creating a family blog. I guess I figured that writing out the day to day happenings, celebrations, woes, successes and overall craziness that is our life would be much cheaper than the eventual therapy I'm bound to require. It will also have to serve as a "memory book" for my two boys, Davis (5) and Garrett (3). I don't think I've entered anything into Davis' book since he was 2 weeks old and Garrett's is still in the shrink wrap. I know I know...I'm horrible. I just don't write anything out anymore as my typing is much more proficient. If it takes longer than a minute or two to do, it's just not gonna happen these days. Besides...I like technology and any gadget that's going to save me a little time. I'm long on ideas and critically short on patience. It's a family trait and tradition.

As for me, my days are spent working full time, taking classes, raising my boys, playing wife to husband Bennett, doing the extended family thing and keeping a gazillion other balls in the air. It's a juggling act for sure, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Over time, I hope to share more about myself and my family and give you some insight into all of our love and lunacy.