LLA'S Been MIA

So I've been MIA for a few weeks. Sorry to the 5 of you that actually read this blog. It's certainly not because I haven't had anything to write about. I've just been so dang busy. It's garden season and Farmer Bennett has given us the bumper crop this year. I've been up to my ears in squash, cukes, zucchini, okra and beans, and it's not over yet. Thank God for the big harvest, otherwise I'd have no justification for the big fat freezer we bought last summer. I'm proud to say that we have a nice little stock pile of veggies to get us through the rest of the year. I've put up all I plan on messing with this season, so I've become the office veggie pimp. I've been doling out the goodies all week. So how about a raise fellas? At the very least, can you promise to keep me gainfully employed until this recession crap goes away?

Our other summer adventures have included an assortment of activities. The aforementioned root canal and other miscellaneous dental work went ok. Our eldest kid had a mysterious illness that included a fever with no other symptoms and required a pointless doctor's visit and subsequent $30 co-pay - just to rule out swine flu. The Big B & G made their first trip to Denton and had a great time camping with Pa Pa and riding the train. G has been carrying around and sleeping with his train ticket since he got home.

Then finally we had some July 4th excitement. We mowed 3 acres of grass, cooked some steaks on the grill, saw some fireworks and got physically molested by gnats, fire ants and mosquitoes. In between all that, B got to practice his cowboy skills. We got a call saying that Daddy's cows were out and making their way down a neighboring road. Now you know that expression "you can do so and so until the cows come home"? Well there's something to that. Apparently cows don't come home that easily. Did you know it actually takes a small army of folks to get 7 cows back to their pasture just a half mile from home? B left to go gather them in and the next thing I see is a caravan moving up the farm path: leading the way was Sammy (Daddy's mechanic and overall right hand man). Following him were the 6 or so cows and a calf. They were followed by 2 young guys hollering and directing the cows onward. Next was a neighbor's landscape truck, followed by Bennett who was followed by a Highway Patrolman flashing his blue lights. Why in the world I didn't make a picture is beyond me. I guess I see such weirdo things so often, it isn't all that weird anymore. It did make for quite a show moving up the path. I wonder if the neighbors think we're looney sometimes. I guess it's just a part of life in the country. What's odd is that the cows ALWAYS get out if my Daddy goes out of town for more than 2-3 days. Without fail. I can remember them doing it since I was a child. He'd been gone all week and I guess they just decided to set out on a mission to find him. Now that's devotion.

Last but not least, I've set out on a mission to improve our finances. I'm tired of seeing money just fly out of the window. So I've started drinking the Dave Ramsey Kool Aid. B and I are starting our Financial Peace University classes this coming Sunday and I can't wait. I've seen the program work firsthand for friends and acquaintances and they are living debt free (or almost) and are in better financial shape than ever. Sounds like a winner to me. We'll see if I can maintain this enthusiasm once we're mid-program, eating beans and weenies and reusing our paper towels and ziploc bags.

I have a feeling that life is about to get more interesting.

Just another Tuesday: Teeth, Drugs, 7 Years Bad Luck and Gettin' Hitched

Tuesday, June 16, 2009. Quite an exciting day. Where to begin? The day started with me taking vast amounts of drugs and going in for sedation dental surgery. B dropped me off a the office at 8:00 AM and I woke up around 10:30 AM mid-procedures. Apparently having your guts rearranged with gastric bypass causes you to metabolize pain meds twice as fast as a normal chick, so I woke up before they were finished with the massacre that was my mouth. I was VERY upset, but the 8 shots of novacaine they had given me at lease prevented me from feeling everything. I just had to HEAR it. The sound of a dang dental drill tears my nerves up! I can't stand it. Not to mention having people pulling, tugging, lifting and digging in your mouth. I hate the entire business. But I survived and received some glorious pain drugs for all of my trouble. Not too bad after all. Praise God for Hydrocodone!

Arriving home, we discovered that Nana had taken the boys back to her house to spend the night. God bless her - she's a saint to tackle them on her own. So I got to recover in absolute peace and quiet. In theory, having the house to ourselves sounds so great, but in reality, you realize just how freaking quiet and boring everything is when they aren't here. B spent the afternoon working and I watched nearly everything I had recorded on my DVR - NCIS, Cake Boss, Roseanne, and other mind numbing junk. While we were enjoying the quiet, Nana was having adventures. Davis and cousin Hannah managed to shatter Nana's full length mirror and to top things off, Davis flushed a cup that stopped up the toilet. What in the @#$@#{( makes little kids want to flush everything in sight??? Anyhoo, B will be taking up the toilet and fishing that out when he picks them up today. We've had so many things flushed down our toilet that we have the plumber on speed dial. Just another day in the kiddie neighborhood.

But there was some good news yesterday. My niece Allison got engaged to her incredibly cute and nice boyfriend Chris. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for them. Here's a pic of the happy couple ripped straight from A's Facebook page.

Allison spent a number of years looking for Mr. Right and we all believe she's definitely found him. They are quite a couple - smart, talented, healthy, young, blonde, and good looking. I can't wait for their wedding. My sis has been very fortunate that both of her girls (Allison's sis Adrienne was married back in 2006) found great guys right off the bat. Hopefully, they won't have to have a practice husband like their Aunt Lorie did. :)

So that about sums up yesterday, June 16th, 2009. Quite a day for all of us. Some good, some bad, but it was another day where we were all still a family. That's what it's all about.

That's My Boy!

Davis had his last baseball game last night and it was his best game yet! He hit the ball well each time at bat. This is a big improvement over last week's game when the assistant coach had to drag D's sorry little behind from home plate to first base because he didn't want to run after his hit. Boy did we have a coming to Jesus meeting in the van after that debacle. He got the "Mama's gonna hurt you boy" looks the rest of the night and got sent to bed early. So after last night's game, he proudly informed me that he was "paying attention this time". I'm glad to know that my evil looks can get results out of somebody. Now if I could only get it to work on Bennett.

Anyway, see the little slugger in action below. He makes his Mama proud!

Praise the Lord and Pass the Underwear!

The unbelievable happened this week. Garrett, Little Criminal #2, decided he was finally interested in potty training. Up until this week, he has had NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER. On Tuesday, all that changed. At the urging of his Nana, he finally agreed to wear some big boy underpants and do the potty thing. By Thursday of this week, he decided that underwear was too confining and that the call of nature literally means peeing outdoors. He's been going commando ever since and he only wants to pee outside. So for two days, he's been running around with nothing but a shirt on and heading to the grass to pee. But the good news is that he's only had to have a pull up at bedtime. While I wish he wasn't killing my grass, I'm more than willing to look the other way if it means we're headed out of the diaper era. B and I have decided that once we're done with them for good, we're going to throw the diaper genie on Pa Pa's dump pile and burn it in celebration. I'm more than ready to get that stinky thing out of my house once and for all. Diaper Genie my butt....there's nothing magic about it!

Dang These Teeth!

Well, we've arrived at a rant moment here on the blog. It was bound to happen again sooner or later after all of the feel-good stuff I've been posting lately. I came unglued at the dentist's office today. When I say unglued, I mean irate. Just as my name probably appears on a watch list in the Walmart home office in Arkansas about my recent blow up at their Dunn Walmart store (I'll have to recap that story for you another time), I'm probably now on a similar list at my dental office. What brought it on was telling me that in order to completely fix my screwed up teeth, it would cost me $4600 out of pocket. That's AFTER the dental insurance pays their portion. To do the bare minimum so I can at least chew without pain would be $2800.

$2800 for 4 hours worth of work. That's $700 per hour. How in the freaking @#%$#)w*$ can they justify that kind of pricing???? I didn't pay that much to have my chitlins rearranged a year ago and that was major surgery with major organs being slice, diced and rearranged. If ever there was a racket in this world, it's got to be at the dentist office. I feel like I'm singlehandedly paying for my dentist's firstborn to attend college. One tooth at a time. But what dang choice do I have? I have to heat my fruit under hot water in order to eat it. I've only got half a side of my mouth where I can chew food. Cold stuff or air send shooting pains up my head. So here we go with fillings, root canals, crowns, etc. Dang the genes that gave me these bad teeth!

If brushing twice a day, flossing, rinsing and seeing the dentist still allows this kind of trouble, then I'm tempted to just yank'em all and go with a pair of dentures. If it was good enough for Grandma, it's good enough for me....and my wallet.

Delusions in the Daddyhood

Can someone explain the male mind to me? I'm at a loss...more so than usual. I'm trying to figure out why my normally sane husband went and lost all of his good sense this weekend while I was out of town. What did he do, you ask? He decided that Saturday would be a good day to wash both the truck and the van as well as spray all of the weeds in our THREE ACRE yard. These chores would be enough to exhaust anyone on a good day, but he did them all while having full responsibility of the kids as well. So these exercises in exertion were done in between watching 2 little punks. Feeding them 3 meals and a gazillion snacks. Playing ball, taking trips to the farm on the lawnmower, swinging on the swings and all of the other activities popular amongst the preschool set. Is it any wonder that he was three shades of ill and grumpy when I called him Saturday night?

I thought it would be safe to call him after the kids went to bed. I figured he was kicked back, watching the boob tube and relaxing after a moderately busy day. Boy, was I in for it. Apparently, the exhausting day had culminated in a delayed bedtime, Davis squirting toothpaste all over the bathroom and Garrett wanting to read one book too many. Needless to say, Big Daddy had reached his limit and was about to blow a gasket.

Poor B. He's so delusional sometimes. See the look of dazed confusion on his face?


Note to Daddies everywhere: when Big Mama is out of town and you're left with the kids all to yourself, do just enough to get by. Get up, dress, eat, play and go back to bed. Don't plan to get anything worthwhile accomplished. Just spend the day making memories with your kids and pray that Big Mama decides to come back home. It also couldn't hurt to ask yourself just how she does it day after day after day and show a little appreciation. It's a Mama thing - you just can't understand.

PS to B: thanks for hard work, even though I think you are nuts for doing it the hard way. :)

Mommy Guilt X2

The weekend is coming to a close and I was fortunate enough to spend it at the beach. Alone. No husband. No kids. No family or friends whatsoever. Just me, myself and I. I got there Friday night around 7:30 and I had absolutely no schedule. My Saturday included a trip to the CVS for sunscreen, nail polish and a copy of People and Star magazine. I spent 2 hours on the deck reading trashy tabloids and a new novel. I gave myself a pedicure. I took a shower and colored my ever-graying hair. I had a leisurely lunch followed by a nap. I watched some DVDs, ate a light supper and watched some movies. A full day all to myself. It was a dream come true for any working Mama.

All the Mamas out there know what I'm talking about. You work and take care of everyone but yourself. You spend your days devoted to others and crash at the end of the day with nothing left to give anyone. Day in and day out, you live the grind: work, home, family, kids, chores, bills, meals, shopping, school, games, etc. It's all responsibility all the time. When you find yourself scouting high locations with anticipation of taking some people out from a high tower, you need to find some time for yourself. I reached that point this week. I needed some serious decompression time. Luckily, B was willing to take on the children for the weekend. Remarkably, they were all in one piece when I returned home this afternoon. Don't feel too bad for him. It will be his turn next weekend. He's doing a golf weekend with the fellas. Maybe that's why he felt obliged to let me get out of dodge this weekend….he knows it will be his turn soon enough.

Anyway, it was a little slice of heaven. So why in the world have I felt guilty the entire weekend? Maybe it's because this is what I left behind.

There they are sitting on the steps right before I left. Dirt, snot, and sweat all included. As much as I needed some time just for me, it makes me so sad and guilty to leave them behind. I miss them. I miss all the craziness that goes with them. As much as they can drive me totally insane, I feel like I'm going to miss something special when I'm away from them. They will never be as small, cute and loving as they are right now. Right now, the spontaneous I love yous and hugs are free flowing. They still run to me for comfort when they have a boo. They still want me to sit with them and watch the same Max and Ruby or Backyardigans over and over and over. They want me to tuck them in at night and read story after story. They want me to push them on the swings. They want me to share a snack. I know these days are limited and it won't be long before they will be embarrassed to even have a Mama. Soon after, their attention will turn to other girls and these sweet, special days will just all be memories. Pardon me while I cry my eyes out. Sniff Sniff.

So I'm back home and reunited with my babies.Hopefully I feel refreshed and restored and ready to get back into the day to day groove. I just need to keep reminding myself that it's ok to take a little time to rid myself of the bitchies if it makes me a better wife and Mama in the long run. I'm sure all of my boys at home will appreciate it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.